With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (no, wait, he should be apologizing to all of us for that lame redneck schtick):
If you can't count how many homes you have, you might be a rich guy.
If you think it takes $5 million a year to be rich [1], you might be a rich guy.
If you think some people "are poor if they’re billionaires [2]," you might be a rich guy.
If you have a fireplace next to the outdoor spa in one of your mansions [3], you might be a rich guy.
If your plan to cut taxes on the wealthy would save your family $373,429 [4] a year, you might be a rich guy.
If you dumped your first wife to have an affair with a wealthy heiress [5], you might be(come) a rich guy.
If you fly around with a lobbyist on corporate jets while doing favors for her client [6], you might be a rich guy.
If you wear $520 loafers [7], you might be a rich guy.
If your annual expenses for servants [8] are five times the median income per person in America, you might be a rich guy.
If you refer to your 6-acre Sedona lakeside estate [9], worth more than one million dollars and complete with a large home, a guest house, and the house next door, as a "cabin [10]," you might be a rich guy.
If you think that no American would pick lettuce for less than $50 an hour [11], you might be a rich guy.
If you fly around on your wife's corporate jet for free [12], you might be a rich guy.
If you think that big corporations need $200 billion in tax giveaways [13], you might be a rich guy.
If you think inheritance taxes on multi-millionaires need to be cut by 67% [14], you might be a rich guy.
If you think being given a vice president's job [15] at your father-in-law's beer company is an accomplishment, you might be a rich guy.
If you and your wife are worth well over $100 million [16], you might be a rich guy.
If you think selling junk on eBay is how Americans can avoid poverty [17], you might be a rich guy.
If you think it's normal to take a free trip to Charles Keating's opulent Bahamas retreat [18] and get $112,000 in campaign donations in exchange for meeting with federal regulators on Keating's behalf, you might be a rich guy.
Crossposted at DailyKos. [19]
Links:
[1] http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/18/mccain-jokes-5-million-a-year-is-a-good-definition-of-rich/
[2] http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12678.html
[3] http://www.architecturaldigest.com/homes/features/archive/mccain_slideshow_072005?slide=8#globalNav
[4] http://thinkprogress.org/wonkroom/2008/06/19/analyzing-the-candidates/
[5] http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B02EFDF1439F934A15751C0A9669C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all
[6] http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/02/minus_the_sex_times_on_to_good.html
[7] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/isabel-wilkinson/a-week-in-john-mccains-sh_b_115692.html
[8] http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/21/100-million-man-mccain-rich-not-defined-by-income/
[9] http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/dc_home_tours_other/article/0,1793,HGTV_3460_1384975,00.html
[10] http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/21/100-million-man-mccain-rich-not-defined-by-income/
[11] http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12155322/
[12] http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/us/politics/27plane.html?_r=2&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1219414942-dI2CDM3p2Y1hTE07Aa/iNA
[13] http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-taxplans21-2008aug21,0,3758648.story
[14] http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-taxplans21-2008aug21,0,3758648.story
[15] http://agonist.org/schecter/?p=8768
[16] http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/21/100-million-man-mccain-rich-not-defined-by-income/
[17] http://www.perrspectives.com/blog/archives/001124.htm
[18] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keating_Five
[19] http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/22/105645/980?new=true